The occasion was a joyful one as it is very necessary in the marriage rite of a typical African.

See Photos Below:

Mercy Chinwo and husband pictures

Mercy Chinwo and husband pictures smiling

All voices of jubilation as #MercyChinwo’s marriage introduction at her father’s residence #Rumuodara was successful….. pic.twitter.com/Wd6oYLXnsE

— IKWERREBOY OF NAIJA (@Ikwerre_Boy) July 18, 2022

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR SEXUAL URGES AS A SINGLE.

Sometime ago, a sister approached me with concerns about her sexuality. She wondered why although she is deliberate about her walk with God, she still has a strong urge for sex. When I smiled and told her I had sexual desires too and that these desires were God-given and normal, she was greatly relieved.

When you ask some Christian singles, ‘have you at any point felt like having sex?’ the look on their faces will make you wonder if you’ve just asked an abominable question.

Yes we have the standard ‘flee sexual immorality’ instruction.

There are lots of sexual purity campaigns, seminars on the demonic operations behind illicit sexual affairs, talk shows that tell stories on how destinies are destroyed via fornication.

Too many struggles have arisen out of sexual urges that looks impossible to be tamed.

But the question still remains in the heart of many Christian singles. Can sexual urges be controlled? What happens when my body just desires physical intimacy? How do I handle my raging emotions knowing that God demands sexual purity?

1.Understand that sexual desires are placed inside us by God

Our bodies came with this pleasure package. The longing for sex is normal.

Imagine that nothing moves you. No desire for intimacy. The sight of that sister does not even make you feel anything or even when you are with the person you claim God wants you to marry, there is no fire or desire whatsoever. Your body is as stiff as wood.  If you are like this, who knows, maybe you have been destined to be a eunuch for righteousness sake.

One thing I know is that for every normal human being, our bodies responds to this intimacy because while we were formed, this ‘button’ was strategically placed to provide the sweetness that comes with companionship upon matrimony.

An understanding of this helps us to look forward to marriage. As a man thinks in his heart, so he is.

This is where control starts from. Your thought process. A constant reminder of the place and purpose for which sex was designed will help.

For a person who says, ‘Well, no man can control his sexual urges before marriage!’ be sure that he’ll indulge in it as many times as possible.

For you as a believer who honours and fear God, the question will be, What does God say about sexual intimacy? The answer should fill your thought life.

2. As far as sexual temptation is concerned, it is a fight we must win.

I believe that sex is one of the greatest temptations Christian singles face.

The devil seeks to twist our innate desire for sex for his own purpose. He does this by sensual thoughts triggers that draws us towards the flesh.

There is a battle to fight. Almost everything in our environment awakens us to our sexuality. Our urges are at alert more now than ever.  Every morning as we wake up, our minds are forced in the battle field surrounded by enemies. We constantly win with the sword of the Spirit and prayers. Our communion with God is how we maintain stability.

Read Also: 10 REASONS KEEPING YOUR VIRGINITY TILL MARRIAGE IS GETTING DIFFICULT

3.You must train your minds to quickly diffuse sexual thoughts that come into your mind

I use the word train because there may be times when you find yourself indulging in the lustful pictures when you clearly know what the Word says. Even when that happens, never let that discourage you.

Whatever actions that may have resulted from such indulgence should not make you sit in guilt. You have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ. There is no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus who work not after the flesh but after the Spirit. Get back into the Word as quickly as possible and learn to cast down every imagination that goes against the knowledge of Christ. Become a guru at pulling every thought to the obedience of Christ.

It comes with practice. The more you practice this, the more sensitive you become when those thoughts attack your mind.

4.Understand how your emotions works

It is foolish to see that your body quickly responds to touch or how you get easily emotionally attached and still allow your emotions to do as it wills.

Don’t ever compare your ability to control sexual temptations with someone else. You see how aroused you quickly become and yet you still visit that sister every time and talk with her far into the night.

You know that watching movies series, many of which now have sex scenes in strategic episodes, drives you faster into pornography and masturbation and yet you sit down with it because another believer says he is not easily affected by scenes like that.

Know how your body works. When you notice that the urges are repeatedly very strong at a particular time, take helpful steps.

A lady once told me that as a single, her ovulation period were the times her urges got to a peak. At those times, she was more sensitive with physical contact

The more you expose yourself to the things that trigger our sensuality, the weaker we become in taking our stand. Take note of those triggers. It’ll save you from falling and rising every time.

Read Also: 6 Strategies for fighting Lust

5.Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit is very important if we must control our sexual desires

The Holy Spirit will teach you what to do each step of the way. We must learn to listen. He is our helper.

There were some mistakes we’d have averted if we had listened. Long before you fell flat into that sexual sin, you might have heard an alarm go off in your head, or heard God’s Word jump right at you.

The Holy Spirit clearly says, ‘No! Don’t go there.’ but then the flesh is also trying to win our attention.

Many times, when we easily yield to the flesh, it is because there is something wrong with our communion. There is too much of exposure from the outside while our inner man is starved of the bread of life.

6.Never have confidence in the flesh

Here’s a sister in the fellowship who just became your friend. You begin to chat every day. As you chat, you can see fire and passion building inside of you gradually.

You sense in your spirit that you need to withdraw but then you think, ‘She is a believer. We pray and share scriptures together. Nothing can happen.’

She keeps visiting and then one evening, you just finished discussing some scriptures when you are both rolling on the floor, fondling each other like starved lions, clothes flung aside.

When you finish, you wonder how that happened even though you were reading scriptures few minutes ago.

Imagine a man at the height of passion and he is muttering, ‘Holy Spirit, help me.’ Which Holy Spirit biko?

Source:

Abiodun Aremo

Covenant Family Ministry

With the increase in marital issues in our world today, suspicion have risen to what men really want in a woman. Below are tested items as to the kind of woman every Man wants.

1. Every man wants a wife who will respect him and give him his honour as the husband of the house.

2. Every man wants a wife who will walk up to him in the morning and say, " Honey, I have kept your water in the bathroom; please go and take your bath".

3. Every man wants a wife who will walk up to him in the morning and say, " My darling husband, I have kept your food on the dinning table; please go and eat your food.

Read More: 11 Serious Questions You Must Ask That Lady Before Marriage.

4. Every man wants a wife who will respect and obey him in the public; even if she wants to disagree with him or quarrel with him, let it be in the bedroom and not in the public.

5. Every man wants a woman who will give him good suggestions and ideas on how to move the family forward.

6. No man wants a wife who will be controlling him and who wants her wish and instructions to be followed all the time. (God forbid).

Read More: How To Deal With Your Exes During Marriage

7. No man wants a nagging Wife.

8. Every man wants a wife who will hug him with a kiss when he returns back from work, and not a wife who will be quarreling with him for coming back from work late.

AS A WIFE, humble yourself and be submissive to your husband for the sake of your marriage and for the sake of your children. 

Above all, for the sake of God

Only mature people will understand what I'm saying and only caring people would share this post.

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Marriage is not a joke! Who you marry determines how your life eventually turns out.  Your rising or crashing in life is determined the day you walk down the aisle with that woman so you can't afford to pick another man's bone. Here are the questions you must ask to see if your marital destiny is going towards the same direction.

1. WHAT IS HER VISION? Your wife must help you fulfil your vision that is why she is called a help-meet. If her dream is to become an international super nude model while your dream is to become a local full time Pastor, you will to do well to end the relationship!

2. IS SHE REALLY BORN AGAIN? Forget about religion. I'm talking about Christ-like behaviour, attitude and character. Some ladies can tie dress modestly, yet the poison in them is deadlier than the serpent's! If her character does not tally with that of a true child of God, you need to do a re-think!

3. IS SHE A VIRGIN OR NOT? You should find out to know what to expect on the wedding night and how to prepare for it.

4. DOES SHE HAVE AN EX? And what led to the break up so she won't repeat the same mistake in your relationship. If she still keeps a close relationship with her EX, she needs to choose between you and him. No rivalry is allowed in any relationship that will last.

5. HAS SHE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED/ ASSAULTED/RAPED? Abused women have complicated emotions and relationships. They suffer unexplainable mood swings, depression, paranoia and in extreme cases psychosis and neurosis. They seriously have anger and trust issues. You need to find out so you can know how to relate with her in marriage. Better still, she needs to go for therapy before marriage.

6. DOES SHE HAVE A CHILD IN HER PAST? You must accept her child as your own now that you are getting married to her. If you can't and she insists her child must live with her in marriage, you don't belong together. End the relationship!

7. WHAT DOES MARRIAGE MEAN TO HER? Real marriage means companionship, deep sharing and friendship. If all she wants to do is have sex, cook and bear your children, she is not ready for marriage, both of you should go for counseling.

8. WHAT DOES SUBMISSION TO A HUSBAND MEANS TO HER? A wife must submit to her husband as the head in marriage. That is what the Holy Book says. If she is a feminist and you hate feminism with passionate hatred, you don't belong together, end the relationship!

9. DOES SHE BELIEVE IN WORKING AFTER MARRIAGE OR SHE WANTS TO BE A FULL TIME HOUSE WIFE? Iron this out so you won't be shocked if she resigned from her job after her first pregnancy and refuse to do anything else aside cooking and bearing children.

10. WILL ANY OF HER FAMILY MEMBERS BE LIVING WITH YOU AFTER MARRIAGE? Talk. Find out if you can cope with her siblings or parents living with you immediately after wedding. If you honestly can't, talk about it!

11. WHAT IS HER VIEW ABOUT MONEY? Some women believe money is meant to be spent while some believed it is to be saved. A lot of others believe in accumulating liabilities. Though the right way to handle money is earn, save, invest and give. Spending should follow budget. What is your own way of handling money? Make sure your view on money tallies lest you end up in the divorce court few years after marriage.

These and more are the serious questions you should ask your partner before saying "I DO". Amos 3:3 is a proof of God's will. 

If you claim you heard God and both of you are not ending the same direction, you need to pray again. God's will is not an excuse to walk in foolishness.

Yes, you must marry God's will for your life and your God's will must give you peace. If you are scared, troubled and your relationship is going no where to happen, end it before it ends you. 

May the Lord grant you understanding. Thanks for reading. God bless you.

Check my previous posts about Relationships and Christian life hints.